mid life panic attack

Wow, it's already well into February of the new year.
My checklist goes like this:
Kids doing great. check.
Great man who adores me. check.
Amazing community of friends. check.
Bills paid up to date. check.

Then it gets sketchy:
House clean, or if not clean then at least organized. Not so much.
Studio ready for work at a moment's notice. Sort of.
Art vision worked on today. Nope.

Here's when I get panicked about the speed of life. I'm not getting any younger here people! Honestly, I don't care so much about the house. As long as we're not eating off that floor does it really matter if there are a bunch of dust bunnies everywhere? Not to me.

Studio ready. Well that is important because the more inviting it is to work, then the more likely I am to, well, work. Even if it's for short bursts.

And the art vision - experiencing art as a part of my life every day. Well, I guess that's all in how I look at it. Am I surrounded by art? Yes. Am I appreciating said art? Sometimes. Am I making the art? Not lately.

I want to make the making a living part and the making art part be one and the same thing. There. I said it.

Joann Tomsche 2/14/11